I hate Christmas

 

Seasons Holidays has always been time of sadness for me. One more year I will pass this period alone with no taste for celebration. I took me years of introspection to understand reasons for ‘Seasons Grievings’..

You called me ‘Boomer’, the boom is not on me: I have been landed by parents breaking up with traditions of Bourgeoisie and finding in post WWII resolution, not only freedom but ‘Party time’. They jumped over the hedge and made children as my stubborn cat is doing. They did not jump one time, getting ‘no Satisfaction, and trying, and trying’…

I still can watch “Home Alone 1”,  with pleasure, not because of the story line but because it crystalizes this snowy polarized warm and comfortable family shell I never got.

As a fate, I could not give comfort to those I love, I left behind me a trail of affective failures and disability to express my feelings. I still thrive to keep intimacy with my son.

Never ‘spoiled Brat’ have been so appropriate: wasted childhood, unbalanced teen ages and unaccomplished journey as rebellious escape to digust I kept for a world that did not accept me.

I keep my heart warm with a Fairy Tale starring my Mum and her father; I like this picture taken before I born sharing something that they have been unable to transmit.

…just saying…I have no regrets, I accept my fate.